The name you choose on
any MUD is something you're stuck with for the duration, so it's generally
a good idea, and just plain good form, to choose one that isn't complete
nonsense, and make sure it's at least relatively fitting for the theme.
Now, here on Desolation, we don't have elves, we don't
have dwarves, and we're most assuredly a far cry from the medieval fantasy
places that overcrowd the list of MUDs out there. We're the future of
a small chunk of western America, boys and girls, so for the love of
all things that don't overtly suck, try to use that melon sitting atop
your neck to think up something normal for a change.
Think about it, you're not going to met someone named
Grakgh when you walk down the streets of America, unless perhaps, you're
talking to a toothless crackwhore. You're much more likely to run into
people with names like John, or Frank, or Bob. Thing is, at any given
time in that place called reality, there's bound to be quite a few Johns,
Franks, and Bobs, while on a MUD, only one person will ever have the
honor of bearing any given name. Thus, nicknames, and slight deviations
of common names are often used.
Also, keep in mind that only a single name works, there
are no spaces, so you can not be listed as John Smith... you'd be Johnsmith,
and that's just ugly. You can still have a last name, or middle name,
but that's only going to be known through role-playing, something you
all should freaking do, and actually letting people know what it is.
Now, whenever you give creative license to the masses,
people are bound to come up with retarded fucking drivel, which has
absolutely no place in what it's being used for. This is a rather unfortunate
reality, and the reason this guide is being written. In other words,
you're all complete imbeciles who cannot be trusted to think rationally.
So, on to the heart of the matter. "Oh, Saint Venato,
how do I think up a name which won't bring your desting, muting wrath
down upon my unworthy ass?" Well, I'll tell you. The easiest thing
to do, is choose a normal name, like mentioned above. On Desolation,
there's absolutely nothing wrong with being named Joe. There is, however,
something very wrong about being named after preexisting characters
from books, movies, or anything in popular culture, or choosing a rather
silly 'fantasy' name. This is not a fantasy MUD, so shove your goddamn
elvish names up your freaking ass. And all you Dragon Ball XYZ Whateverthefuck
fan retards, had best keep those idiotic character names off this MUD,
or I will personally make your time spent here a living hell. So basically,
think up something normal, or something original, yet rational.
How do you do that? Well, there are plenty of ways. Say
you want to be John. Oh look, someone must have already taken the name
John! Okay, maybe Jon, or Johan will work, great, wonderful, a name.
In other words, it's perfectly okay to use different spelling of the
same name, though in general, this CAN lead to some confusion. Jon could
get mistaken for John at some point, you know =) So that section is
fairly self-explanatory. On to bigger and brighter things, involving
imagination.
Think of the character you want to play. Give him a rudimentary
history, a basic purpose in life. This can help immensely in choosing
a name, particularly if you use the two methods I'm about to detail.
First, there's my preferred method. Take that character
concept, and figure out simple words that describe it. Say one of these
words happens to be 'hunter.' Well, as luck would have it, Hunter is
a perfectly acceptable name. Shoemaker, however, is not, so proceed
accordingly. Now, back to Hunter... say you don't like that. Look for
other words that mean the same thing, and don't necessarily limit yourself
to English. Oh look, it seems the German word for hunter is 'Jaeger.'
A simple shifting of letters can net you a perfectly decent name, "Jaecar,"
which is in fact an actual name.
There are a number of websites which can assist you greatly
in using this method. A baby name book can help as well, or you can
just go here: http://www.homepagers.com/names/ and muck about for a
while. You could also use a language translation site, such as babelfish.altavista.com
to look for foreign words to distill into names. I'll give you a couple
of examples:
Venato - Venato Caine - yes, that's me, motherfucker,
and don't you forget it - comes from the Latin word 'venator,' which
oddly enough means 'hunter,' and Caine, from that crazy Old Testament,
you know, the guy who killed Abel, the guy who's credited as the original
murderer. Put 'em together, and you've got the original concept of the
first incarnation of Ven, an assassin.
Delmon - Delmon Jaecar Shad - Delmon is a name which supposedly
means 'of the mountain.' This is fitting, as that's where he freaking
came from. Jaecar was already described above, and if you've forgotten
the meaning, well, fuck you. Shad is a distillation of Shadrach, also
from Mr. Bible, and listed as being the name of one of three brothers
who survived being cast into a fiery furnace. Hey, that caught my eye,
fiery furnace... nuclear malestrom... fitting. Put them together, and
you have the basic concept behind Del.
Now the last method I'm going to cover, is one that requires
a greater lack of idiocy on your part... that of using a nickname as
your character name. This should NOT be used by the faint of heart,
or the downright stupid, because if I ever see a character named 'Bigdick,'
I will track you down and castrate you.
Simply put, this is a method that draws a bit from the
previous. You take the concept of your character... hmm, what's he good
at? Is he fast? Agile? Big? Dumb? Does he have some blatant physical
feature that you could exploit? Think about how people get nicknames
in the first place. Obviously, "One Eye" isn't going to work,
since it'd come out looking like, "Oneeye," and that's just
ugly. But something like "Stumpy," that's fine, and a nickname
I've personally blessed our resident Dutch bastard Viktor with. Let's
see, what else could there be? Squint, Red, Lefty, maybe even Hitman,
whatever, just make sure it doesn't sound completely stupid.
Remember, when in doubt, fucking ask someone who has a
clue. Log in as Guest if you have to. It's a hell of a lot easier than
having us ream you for choosing an atrocious name.
So, that stated, here's a recap of what's been said:
- No fantasy names.
- No pop-culture references.
- Use a real name, or something original, but
not retarded.
- Use your character's purpose, background, or
features to think up a fitting name.
- When in doubt, ask. - Always remember - I hate
you.
Now get your ass on here and role-play,
you piece of shit.
- Ven. |