It has been said by some, that if you ever want a reason to not do a drug, you should simply watch someone act, while on that drug.

I have no idea how that prevents you from doing it, but dammit, watching drunk people is fun.

That having been said, I present to you this log, taken on the early morning of Friday, July 13th. My good friend Turk(Calvin), logs onto Desolation, more drunk then Ted Kennedy on a bad day.

Just let this be a reminder to all of you. Never drink, and then play online text games. Someone may be logging it.

<announce> Turk enters Desolation.
Turk says: I"m so fuckig.........smashed.
Turk says: I can bearelh see what i tpe.
<gossip> Turk: I cna' bare.yseee wha ti'm typieng I"m soo fucking smasshed.
<gossip> Turk: Sory i fyou can't rean't ed.....this i'm sfuking smashed.
<gossip> Rynthas: Heh.
<gossip> Rynthas: You're really wasted..
<gossip> Turk: Fucking...dsa...shitkn.g.
<gossip> Turk: My goddj......i''m..glkjsdOEne.
<gossip> Rynthas: All I got out of that was 'fucking'
<gossip> Rynthas: And...'My God'
<gossip> Trujillo: And "I'm"
<gossip> Trujillo: Hrm... "My God, I'm fucking"?
<gossip> Bitterman: that's fucked up.
<gossip> Turk: Yo......Trujillo.
<gossip> Trujillo: Heya Turk.
<gossip> Bitterman: usually Calvin types perfect when he's drunk.
<gossip> Turk: Se...i got his name right.
<gossip> Turk: Dude.....i'm too fucking......fucke dup o thype right.
<gossip> Bitterman: dude.. you got it wrong.. you were suppost to get Katie drunk.
<gossip> Bitterman: not you drunk.
<gossip> Turk: You say my real name alot,Bitter....... not like i mater.
<gossip> Turk: LOL>......... my bad.....i got a new Bitch...
<gossip> Turk: I was gonna get her drun..expec.tshe coudln't.
<gossip> Turk: I"
<gossip> Rynthas: Okay, somebody log this..
<gossip> Bitterman: so instead, you drank all the beer you were going to give to her.
<gossip> Turk: i'm gstayin gup ill four 20.....
<gossip> Bitterman: smooth.
<gossip> Bitterman: set your clock.
<gossip> Turk: So i go ther friends to buy beer for...me.
<gossip> Bitterman: I got 4:10 here.. you only got 10 minutes to go until you drunkenly pass out.
<gossip> Turk: Do you know......how mnyat times it takes me to type gossip...rgiht.
<gossip> Turk: Ig........togt an ectra beetr.
<gossip> Bitterman: yes, more beer.
<gossip> Bitterman: beer is good for you.
<gossip> Turk: YOu want a beer?
<gossip> Bitterman: no, that's alright man.
<gossip> Turk: I can walk yiou over a geer.......even though i'll pass out before then.
<gossip> Bitterman: you can get one, and drink it for me.
<gossip> Turk .....woah..tha twa stoo straigh talking.
<gossip> Turk: You know what..i'll get ion ean drink it for you.
<gossip> Turk: how many people are on.
<gossip> Bitterman: 20
<gossip> Turk: really?>!!?
<gossip> Turk: Oh wel.....i' drill drin for all of them.
<gossip> You nod.
<gossip> Turk: Yo usaid......129
<gossip> Bitterman: no, I said 20
NOTE: There were only 7 people online
<gossip> Turk: Oh..
<gossip> Turk: OH...ok.
<gossip> Bitterman: me, and rynthas, and armrha, and dozer, and trujillo.
<gossip> Turk: Good...cause i just bout twho thirty paccks.....and a bottle of vodka.
<gossip> Bitterman: and devil, and spike, and turk, and fox.
<gossip> Turk: how manhyis htrat..?!
<gossip> Bitterman: and ark.
<gossip> Turk: DEVIL!! WERE ARE YOU!
<gossip> Biggs bows to Armrha.
<gossip> Turk: Biteer.......says you on!
<gossip> Armrha waves at Biggs.
<gossip> Turk: Where...lou ge?
<gossip> Armrha: you just do that to check if I'm on, eh?
<gossip> Devil hides the sheep behind a door, "What? I'm doing nothing!"
NOTE: Devil wasn't online at the time, the part of Devil was played by Bitterman.
<cre> Turk: devil?!
<cre> Devil: what?!
<cre> Turk: see.....i'm smart......drunk.......i can us creen.
<cre> Turk: i'm sorry mang...i'm sjust drink.
<cre> Devil: as long as you keep your damn pants on this time.
<cre> Turk: wooah.......erros is yellow.
<cre> Devil mumbles something and rubs his ass.
<cre> Turk: My pants are always on......waigt...i'm waaring sohrts.
<cre> Devil: oh shit..
<cre> Turk: IO,m about to bat some ass.
<cre> Turk: What cho been up to Devil.....ou seem to be th eonly won who understands my drunkenhyess.
<cre> Turk: Tlakt o me.......while i spit on my sisters floor.
<cre> Devil: how much you fuckin' have to drink.
<cre> Turk: Ij/////////ijjj////w.
Turk leaves east.
<cre> Turk: Ij/////////ijjj////w.
<cre> Turk: Ii weu friends drank a thirtyu...and .....well i drank a thirty.....soo...uhh...eah a thirdy.
<cre> Devil starts counting on his fingers, "So.. err.. 60? You had 60 thirtys?"
<cre> Turk: no..well......d i dton' thin so.
<cre> Devil: are you sure?
<cre> Turk: Uh...not really.
<cre> Turk: whow...i spelled hthat right.
<cre> Devil: maybe you should drink more, just incase.
<cre> Turk: I lt a firework of fi n my hand, tonight.
<cre> Turk: It's oo cold in my room.
<cre> Devil: and you still have a hand?
<cre> Turk: I left my hair...on......it's like on high and shi.
<cre> Turk: Yeah.........i still ahv a hand..i think.
<cre> Devil: dude.. it's 4:20
<cre> Turk: time for me to go to bed?
<cre> Turk: holly shit....i spelled that all righ....
<cre> Devil shrugs, "Or time to drink more. I don't know."
<cre> Turk: i seriously need to go to bed...if i'm spelling right.
<cre> Turk: You knwo aht..it's time to drink more.
<cre> Turk: My conmsious..../devil will bve my guild.
<cre> Devil: yeah, I'd say so too.
<cre> Turk: What alld o i need to do..consious?
<gossip> Turk: FUXCK YOU ALL!!
<gossip> Turk: LICK MY HARIY>>NUTSS!
<gossip> Devil: oh god, the boy's lost it.
<gossip> Devil: quick, bitter, get the hand cuffs.
<gossip> Turk: Whoo.kinky.
<gossip> Arcticfox: no, devil, you will not fuck turk in the butt.
<gossip> Turk: I'm bleeding to death.
<gossip> Rynthas sighs, and drops the lube.
<gossip> Devil throws down the bottle of baby oil, "Well why the hell not?"
<gossip> Arcticfox: because it's the sheep's turn today, devil.
<gossip> Arcticfox: not yours.
<gossip> Devil nods slowly, "Oh, right, right."
<gossip> Turk: I tried.to clime ontop of a fucking fucking park shelter.....those roofs afref fucking shoarp...
<gossip> Rynthas grabs the lube, "Hey! Great! I get to go!"
<gossip> Turk: I"m bleeding like ason of ab itchy.
<gossip> Turk: man.....i'm seriously neeeeeed t go o ot solepe.
<gossip> Bitterman: yeah.. that sounds like a good idea.
<gossip> Arcticfox: turk, get to a first aid kid and get a band-aid.
<gossip> Turk: I nee dto sleep!
<gossip> Turk: But i'm beleding.
<gossip> Turk: Bitter.....what are yo diong?
<gossip> Trujillo: Or, go get a tube of superglue, and glue the cuts shut... if you can see well enough to do so.
<gossip> Arcticfox: tru, i heard that one before, that's pure bullshit.
<gossip> Turk: Cuts........guel them shut?
<gossip> Trujillo: No, it's not, Fox. I've done it. Many times.
<gossip> Arcticfox: the military that creates superglue in the vietnam war thing.
<gossip> Trujillo: Oh, that rumor, I dunno. I just know that superglue glues cuts shut.
<gossip> Rynthas: Or your ass.
<gossip> Turk: SHoudli got to sleep?
<gossip> Turk: seriousl?!
<gossip> Trujillo: Only if your aim is bad, or you're drunk, Ryn.
<gossip> Rynthas: Superglue will glue your ass shut.
<gossip> Turk: i can bearely sen what i'm typeing.
<gossip> Rynthas eyes Turk suspiciously.
<gossip> Turk: And i don't...want t permanatlye fukc myself up.
<gossip> Arcticfox: get a bandaid first, turk.
<gossip> Turk: I"m askinmg yo gusy...barely......shouldi seel.
<gossip> Trujillo: How bad're you bleeding?
<gossip> Turk: I an barley keep myu syes openm.
<gossip> Rynthas: Quick...drive yourself to a hospital.
<gossip> Turk: DIORVE?!
<gossip> Turk: Dude..i'm gettin scaredye.dwhat aare you guys tlakgin about?
<gossip> Turk: HOw bad am i bleeidinging?!
<gossip> Trujillo: Just go to sleep, Turk.
<gossip> Rynthas: Well...if you're bleeding real bad...then you need to get there fast.
<gossip> Armrha: superglue is good.
<gossip> Turk: Shit?! ,u screm kist wem b.
<gossip> Armrha: according to truj, at least.
<gossip> Turk: I nee3d to go to the hospital?
<gossip> Trujillo: Superglue _is_ good. Just causes scarring.
<gossip> Turk: where is bitter?!
<gossip> Armrha: Did he see he can barley keep his eyes sperm>?
<gossip> You shrug.
<gossip> Rynthas: How bad are your cuts bleeding, Turk?
<gossip> Turk: bitter!?!!!!!!1
<gossip> Bitterman: hell if I know where Bitter is.
<gossip> Turk: Bitter hey biter......call me.
<gossip> Arcticfox: if you're bleeding bad, go to the hospital or local doc.
<gossip> Turk: someone call me.
<gossip> Turk: i need to talk to someone.
<gossip> Rynthas: Shit man, what's the guy's number?
<gossip> Turk: i think.
<gossip> Arcticfox: don't think that turk will appreciate a stranger calling him from across the world anyway.
<gossip> Rynthas: gossip Ey, Bitter, is that his number?
<gossip> Arcticfox: nite guys, take care, turk.
<gossip> Turk: yea.....i have to ......sleep. call me someoem.....
<announce> Turk has left Desolation.
(A few minutes later)
<announce> Turk enters Desolation.
<gossip> Turk: someon ecall..i need to talk to smoene.
<gossip> Bitterman: oh shit, he's back.
<gossip> Turk: 319 526.....8108.....thats it...i think.
<gossip> Turk: preaty sure it's it.
<gossip> Turk: i'm going now.i nee dto talk to someone.
<gossip> Turk: typeing save and quit now.
<gossip> Turk nods.
<gossip> Turk: someone.call.
<announce> Turk has left Desolation.